I still have a number of questions to address, but I due to an unexpected health crisis in my family, I haven’t been able to focus on blogging for the last couple of days and will be taking a break through the weekend. Answers will be back on Monday. I apologize for the interruption of ‘almost-daily’ posting.
Keith
I hate my hair. It’s very fine and very thin and when it’s long it’s just limp and gross. So I cut it very short. I like it short. It’s easy to care for. It’s comfortable. The only problem with having it short is that my mom is constantly on my case about my short hair. “You’re never going to meet a guy if you don’t let your hair grow out!”
My opinion is that if a guy takes a look at my hair and decides he doesn’t want to get to know me, I don’t need someone that shallow in my life.
My question is do guys really completely decide not to get to know a woman based on how long her hair is?
My guess is that some do. I know there are people who can’t see past a physical exception to their immediate idea of attractive. I’ve encountered them before. But for myself, I think that hair length isn’t a big deal. yes, my preference is for shoulder-length hair, but my ex-fiance and many girlfriends have had short hair. I didn’t avoid getting to know them because of it. Frankly, I don’t get the mentality of those who would.
BTW - tell your mom to bugger off. I have the advantage of knowing who sent this and I’d certainly date you if I wasn’t taken and you lived closer and wanted to go out. So I know there are other guys who would love to date you as well. Mom doesn’t know everything. 
And your opinion seems valid and healthy to me! I agree with it!
Why do guys always leave the toilet seat up?
Laziness? Lack of consideration? An inability to predict who will need to use it for what bodily function next?
Truthfully, I’ve never understood the fuss over this. How often do women put the seat up for men? Consideration works both ways!
Personally, I just always leave it down as I can hit the smaller target and thus avoid the issue altogether, but really: Is the two seconds of extra effort really worth the fuss so many seem to make over this issue?
I’m going for the easy, short answer today as I’m spending the day with my little girls.
MP–why do men like makeup on other women, but not their own…..hmmmmmmmmm….
Well, I have no objections to makeup, per se. I don’t generally care if a woman is wearing it or not. Don’t misunderstand me, there are lots of times that a woman in makeup can look better than when she’s not wearing any. It’s just that it’s not that important to me. So trying to get that across can make it seem like I don’t want the woman I’m with wearing any. That’s not the case. I just don’t feel she HAS to wear any. I think it’d be a pain to have to deal with every day!
If you wanted to look at things negatively, you could go with the theory that he doesn’t want you to look appealing to other men but why bring that paranoia into things? Most men I know would prefer to be able to show off their attractive girlfriends or wives.
The final, and I think best way to look at things, is that you are just beautiful to him without needing cosmetic enhancement. Personally, I’d think that should be the most satisfying to you, but what do I know?
Yes, this really came into my inbox, and since I’m not feeling up to a more serious and lengthy answer today, I’ll post the question:
Why are you so darn adorable?
This is one of those times, I wish I knew who was submitting a question!
I don’t know that I’m adorable. Just honest, and opinionated. So maybe for once, in a very self-effacing manner, I’ll just leave the answer at that, and see what happens. lol
It has become sadly apparent that I must write a quick note / disclaimer regarding this site versus posting a question and answer today. It appears that some folks don’t seem to quite understand that this blog and the answers given within it speak only to MY OWN opinions and thoughts based upon my life and experiences. I make it a point not to make generalizations though occasionally I may make guesses or theories and will note them as such because, frankly, I don’t like being generalized either.
It’s also important to note again, that I am not a licensed therapist, doctor, psychologist or any other medical or mental health professional. I am just an average guy who’s had a fair amount of life experience providing my honest opinions on the questions people send me. You are free to post your own thoughts and opinions as comments on a post, but I ask that you do it without trashing others.
From now on, a disclaimer will be running on the right side of this site. I regret having to use screen space to do it, but I want to remind people of all of this. I apologize to all of those that feel that this post and that disclaimer are ‘talking down’ to them.
Thank you,
Keith
Why do some men think it’s hot when 2 ladies kiss/seem attracted to each other sexually?I don’ get it.
Let me first set the stage by admitting that I AM one of those men you are referring to. As is Howard Stern and seemingly 80-90% of other straight men apparently by the amount of commentary found on it on the Internet. Yet I’ve never found an answer why that is. The majority of these men would also apparently not be turned on by the sight of two men kissing and instead would be repulsed. While not turned on by men kissing, I’m not repulsed by it either. As seemingly always, I don’t quite fit ‘the norm.’
While I could end my answer here and have it be just as complete as all of the others answers I’ve come across, I’m going to attempt to try and explain it for myself. I just don’t promise that it will make any sense. So here goes….
It’s my theory that this has to do with straight men having an unconscious thought that women are more tender and pleasurable to kiss than men are, because that’s how men feel when women kiss them. They also have the unconscious belief that women want in turn to experience the same tenderness and pleasure but that men are ‘rougher’ and therefore don’t provide it. So when straight men watch two women kiss, they expect that the women are getting considerably more pleasure from it than if it was a man and a woman. Add in that men are inherently visual creatures and the added visual throws it past the edge. Extend those same thoughts to other sexual acts and that would explain the attraction of watching lesbian sex for the straight male.
It may also be that men enjoy it because it’s a ‘taboo’ of sorts but one in which they don’t have to participate in and that may also go to why men tend to get repulsed by seeing two men kiss: that a man would kiss them hits closer to home for the ‘taboo’ than for two women and sometimes, something ‘different’ can be a turn on. Frankly, as long as it’s consensual and no one is underage, I believe couples can do as they please. Also, physical attractiveness almost certainly plays a part and seeing two women that the particular man finds attractive kiss is more likely to be ‘hot’ for them than two women they find unattractive, and since most men generally don’t want to think of other men as ‘physically desirable’, the dislike of seeing two men kiss.
In any case, these are not theories I have any proof for. They are just my thoughts based upon what I see, read and my own thoughts and feelings when seeing two women kiss. Have your own theories? Post them here!
How much do men really care about a woman’s body? Stretch marks? A little extra flab? What is the breaking point?
There are as many different answers to this as there are men. The same I believe would be true if it were asked of women about men. With that many different answers to cover… my head would explode. Seeing as I just cleaned this place and brain matter is a definite ‘we’ll keep your deposit’ cleaning issue, I’ll have to pass on that.
So as usual, I’ll speak only to my own thoughts and experiences and that means I’ll have to speak to my own preferences….
*crickets*
Hmmm… I don’t have much in the way of preferences, when I think about it. What few I do have I’ll come back to. Let me instead speak to whom I’ve dated, though I will not name any names for obvious reasons.
I’ve dated a woman with a tattoo, which once upon a time I wouldn’t have thought would ever happen.
I’ve dated women with glasses and those without.
I’ve dated a woman who was missing teeth. I knew why they were missing and could sympathise so it didn’t bother me. (Frankly, I have my own teeth issues as a result of everything I’ve been through, and for neither that woman nor myself was the issue a lack of brushing and care.)
There was the woman who had larger breasts and when she lost weight, they became less firm and gravity did it’s thing with time so she was very self-conscious about them. Before we broke up, she told me that she finally felt sexy about them after being with me. She was sexy, but it really had nothing to do with her chest. it was all in her attitude. I just didn’t have any dislike of what she thought was her worst feature and that helped her to see it the same way.
Another woman I dated was considerably overweight. Actually, a couple of women I’ve dated have been overweight, but that has never mattered to me either. They were still attractive for many reasons.
I’ve dated a woman with a prosthetic leg. There were certain things I enjoy doing that we couldn’t do, but it didn’t really bother me.
There are other examples that come to mind, but none that I can ably describe and by now, I think I’ve made my point about myself: I am attracted to personalities as much as outward appearances. Yes, there are certain physical traits that will catch my eye more than others, but I don’t recall ever not being attracted to a woman just because she didn’t have all of them. So what are the things that can catch my eye for an immediate second glance?
And that’s pretty much it. But as I said, they don’t really sway how attracted I am to someone. Getting to know that person a bit, it’s the personalities that draw me in and make me believe someone is totally desirable.
For those who wonder about what celebrity body types i like, since I’m unlikely to know many of them personally, my answer is this: I like everyone from Camryn Manheim to Alyson Hannigan to Diane Lane to Caroline Rhea…. So you tell me if there’s a trend there!
So… what are your breaking points?
At what point in a relationship would you tell someone that you love them (assuming that you do)? My ex told me he loved me pretty early on, and maybe he did, but why did he then break up with me? (you don’t have to answer that!). I think to women saying ‘I love you’ implies a longer term commitment, whereas maybe to a man it’s just a phrase that rolls easily off the tongue.
I really struggled with this question. This is one of the first questions that I received, but it brought up in me all of these things that I struggle with on a continuing basis. I even thought about pretending not to have received it, but then that would be less than honest, and contrary to the spirit of this blog. If I run away from the difficult questions, then this blog becomes a sham. So after a couple of weeks of thought, here’s my answer and since it will be long, it’s hidden behind a cut so as not to consume the entire front page…. (more…)
Why is it that the man in my life can never find anything? I always put everything in the refrigerator in the same location, but he will open the door, stare, and say “where’s the ketchup?” I’ve talked to my friends and they have the same issue. What gives? Is he blind or lazy ^_^
Blind? Maybe! I can’t count the number of times I’ve stood and stared into the refrigerator looking for the bottle of raspberry tea I knew I had stuck in there earlier, only to have it sitting right in front of me but apparently completely out of my field of vision at the same time. Even worse is when I’m looking for my keys everywhere and they are hanging on the hook by the door, which is where I want them to be. It’s why I put the hook there!
Lazy though? No way, and here’s my pretty much facetious answer (as I have no real explanation): we men are hunter-gatherers by nature. We need to be successful in the hunt to be satisfied and thus we turn a blind eye to anything that is too easy. This applies to everything from food in the refrigerator to putting toilet paper on the holder! I mean, really! Where’s the thrill of the hunt if the toilet paper is right there at the ready! No, caveman Grogg must hunt roll. Must seek it out from back of toilet, from under cabinet, from under the bed where the sabretooth cat took it (don’t ask…).
Don’t get Grogg started on mystery of magic clothes that appear on bent sticks in walk-in cave off of bedrock. Grogg must hunt through piles of unfolded loincloths to capture runaway socks for Grogg’s feet. Neatly folded linens in walk-in cave scare Grogg. [OK - enough of that joke. Even I'm bored now!]
I guess all I can do is offer an excuse, and in my case it’s going to be: my bi-focals have a blind spot! 