Honest Answers From A Guy…

For those who want to understand a bit more about the experiences that shape the views of the man answering the questions, here is a brief and very personal autobiography. I have never shared this publicly before:

I was born in 1968 with a congential defect called Megacolon, wherein my large intesting and bowel tissue was dead and didn’t work correctly. As such, I had no control over bowel movements and so had uncontrollable ‘accidents’. When my parents took me to the doctors, the doctors would tell them I was just lazy…. So I grew up having no friends and parents who thought I was just ‘wrong’ and when I was 12, I tried to kill myself. I failed, luckily. When I was 15, due to a very happy accident, I was seen by a surgeon who had a suspicion of what was going on and referred us to a specialist. The specialist diagnosed it and so when I was 15, I had surgery that finally cured it. I spent the next few years having additional surgeries due to lingering complications. But I could finally have a social life.

Still - I think you can imagine the damage to my self-esteem….

When I was 18, I met a woman who seemed genuinely interested in me who happened to be from the UK, which was a big appeal to an anglophile like me. We ended up getting married but 11 months into it I found her in bed with my best friend. We were divorced very quickly. I also entered into my first corporate job.

When I was 21, I became engaged to another young woman but then I was mis-diagnosed with a systemic breakdown disorder and told I wasn’t expected to live past 24. Because of that, my fiance and I broke off the relationship.

At 22, I met the woman who would become my second wife, who had also been diagnosed with a potentially terminal illness. Having that in common helped us to bond and we ended up getting married. Bad reason, but neither of us expected to be around very long.

Needless to say, I lived past 24. When I was 28, the panel of so-called experts decided I had been mis-diagnosed. Of course by then I had picked up some very fatalistic habits (smoking, for instance).  At the same time, I was moving up the ranks at a Fortune 50 healthcare company and eventualy became Chief Technology Officer.

We had our girls over the next few years and then in 2005 my then-wife and I got divorced. So began a two-year divorce during which time I fell in love with a woman from Nova Scotia, Canada. The engagement ended due to all sorts of stressors at the same time I was laid off from my job. My ex was awarded physical custody of my children and I finally gave into all of the stress and contemplated suicide. I was hospitalised for suicidal thinking for two weeks and then released. Over the course of the next year, I got back into good mental shape and got a new job. Unfortunately for various reasons related to the divorce and losing my job, I had to declare bankruptcy and will be paying it off for the next 4 1/2 years.

In June of last year, I was diagnosed with Stage 1 Pleomorphic Rhabdomyosarcoma, a form of skeletal tissue cancer. I ended up having chemo and radiation treatment, and luckily, went into remission in October and was clear as of December.

In January, the stress of the bankruptcy, job issues and most of all, general loneliness got to me and I actually did try to commit suicide. Thank goodness, I failed. I spent four months learning to like myself again. I feel pretty good and am gaining confidence in myself everyday.

Right now I am in a committed relationship with a wonderful young woman. It was love at first sight for both of us.

Part of the reason why I enjoy answering these questions is because I feel I have a lot to draw upon and share from my life and would like to help others avoid some of the bad experiences I’ve had. If I can help one person feel better about themselves, I’ll feel I’ve been successful!