Honest Answers From A Guy…

I hate my hair. It’s very fine and very thin and when it’s long it’s just limp and gross. So I cut it very short. I like it short. It’s easy to care for. It’s comfortable. The only problem with having it short is that my mom is constantly on my case about my short hair. “You’re never going to meet a guy if you don’t let your hair grow out!”

My opinion is that if a guy takes a look at my hair and decides he doesn’t want to get to know me, I don’t need someone that shallow in my life.

My question is do guys really completely decide not to get to know a woman based on how long her hair is?

My guess is that some do. I know there are people who can’t see past a physical exception to their immediate idea of attractive. I’ve encountered them before. But for myself, I think that hair length isn’t a big deal. yes, my preference is for shoulder-length hair, but my ex-fiance and many girlfriends have had short hair. I didn’t avoid getting to know them because of it. Frankly, I don’t get the mentality of those who would.

BTW - tell your mom to bugger off. I have the advantage of knowing who sent this and I’d certainly date you if I wasn’t taken and you lived closer and wanted to go out. So I know there are other guys who would love to date you as well. Mom doesn’t know everything.

And your opinion seems valid and healthy to me! I agree with it!

MP–why do men like makeup on other women, but not their own…..hmmmmmmmmm….

Well, I have no objections to makeup, per se. I don’t generally care if a woman is wearing it or not. Don’t misunderstand me, there are lots of times that a woman in makeup can look better than when she’s not wearing any. It’s just that it’s not that important to me.  So trying to get that across can make it seem like I don’t want the woman I’m with wearing any. That’s not the case. I just don’t feel she HAS to wear any. I think it’d be a pain to have to deal with every day!

If you wanted to look at things negatively, you could go with the theory that he doesn’t want you to look appealing to other men but why bring that paranoia into things? Most men I know would prefer to be able to show off their attractive girlfriends or wives.

The final, and I think best way to look at things, is that you are just beautiful to him without needing cosmetic enhancement. Personally, I’d think that should be the most satisfying to you, but what do I know?

How much do men really care about a woman’s body? Stretch marks? A little extra flab? What is the breaking point?

There are as many different answers to this as there are men. The same I believe would be true if it were asked of women about men. With that many different answers to cover… my head would explode. Seeing as I just cleaned this place and brain matter is a definite ‘we’ll keep your deposit’ cleaning issue, I’ll have to pass on that.

So as usual, I’ll speak only to my own thoughts and experiences and that means I’ll have to speak to my own preferences….

*crickets*

Hmmm… I don’t have much in the way of preferences, when I think about it. What few I do have I’ll come back to. Let me instead speak to whom I’ve dated, though I will not name any names for obvious reasons.

I’ve dated a woman with a tattoo, which once upon a time I wouldn’t have thought would ever happen.

I’ve dated women with glasses and those without.

I’ve dated a woman who was missing teeth. I knew why they were missing and could sympathise so it didn’t bother me. (Frankly, I have my own teeth issues as a result of everything I’ve been through, and for neither that woman nor myself was the issue a lack of brushing and care.)

There was the woman who had larger breasts and when she lost weight, they became less firm and gravity did it’s thing with time so she was very self-conscious about them. Before we broke up, she told me that she finally felt sexy about them after being with me. She was sexy, but it really had nothing to do with her chest. it was all in her attitude. I just didn’t have any dislike of what she thought was her worst feature and that helped her to see it the same way.

Another woman I dated was considerably overweight. Actually, a couple of women I’ve dated have been overweight, but that has never mattered to me either. They were still attractive for many reasons.

I’ve dated a woman with a prosthetic leg. There were certain things I enjoy doing that we couldn’t do, but it didn’t really bother me.

There are other examples that come to mind, but none that I can ably describe and by now, I think I’ve made my point about myself: I am attracted to personalities as much as outward appearances. Yes, there are certain physical traits that will catch my eye more than others, but I don’t recall ever not being attracted to a woman just because she didn’t have all of them. So what are the things that can catch my eye for an immediate second glance?

• Shoulder-length red hair - yet I’ve married two blonds
• Glasses - I just have that girls with glasses fetish, I guess
• Clothing - yes, I am a sucker for distinct styles of dress
• Eyes - Bright, inquisitive eyes that show life

And that’s pretty much it. But as I said, they don’t really sway how attracted I am to someone. Getting to know that person a bit, it’s the personalities that draw me in and make me believe someone is totally desirable.

For those who wonder about what celebrity body types i like, since I’m unlikely to know many of them personally, my answer is this: I like everyone from Camryn Manheim to Alyson Hannigan to Diane Lane to Caroline Rhea…. So you tell me if there’s a trend there!

So… what are your breaking points?

I gotta question… push-up bras - false advertising or a good thing?

Both? I suspect that way back in the dawn of time, when a man first discovered the loin cloth, it wasn’t for protection so much as to hide that he was less well-endowed than his fellow males. After all, who could argue? They couldn’t see the goods! So he talked up the size of his trunk to get a mate and then they may or may not have been unhappy when they got back to the cave. It all depends upon how he wielded his club, I guess!

Through the ages, the false advertising on both sides has subtly shifted and altered, from girdles to the way swimsuits are cut to better flatter a particular figure to colognes and perfumes designed to create a falsely attractive scent. It seems to be in man and woman’s nature to put forth a potentially false image of themselves. Is this a bad thing? Only if it’s all you are putting forth or if the guy (or woman) is a complete ass only interested in that ONE thing!

As cliche as it sounds, what matters most is that person behind the ad, the one who came up with how to package themselves. If that person is appealing, long-term it’s going to be about more than just looks. If you want to put a little false advertising out there to get them to take a peek so that they can eventually get to know that person, hey - I’m OK with that. But if all you do is wrap yourself up in illusion and nothing more, then don’t be surprised if you end up with someone different in your life than you truly wanted.

Men say they don’t like lipstick, some not even any chapstick. Yet there is a cultural maybe-myth that men find red lipstick hot. Is there some posturing going on?

Probably. I suspect that a lot of men may not like lipstick or chapstick because it changes the way your lips feel against theirs. I know that, when I’m looking for a soft, tender, passionate kiss, I’m really wanting to enjoy the feel of your lips against mine, not some petroleum byproduct. That said, I think men definitely act more annoyed with it than is actually true. As long as you want to kiss us, we’re not likely to really care all that much! I know I wouldn’t unless it was on so think that it was sticky or plastic-like!

As for red lipstick, it doesn’t do much for me. As for why other men might think it hot, and apparently from my google searches a lot do, I think it’s because societal norms decided it was hot for some reason and so men just stick with convention. Some say it’s an underlying psychological thing, as apparently you have to be more confident to wear red. I don’t know about that. I’m not opposed to it, but it really doesn’t make you seem any ‘hotter’ to me for wearing it. Personally, I prefer when you wear natural colors.

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