Honest Answers From A Guy…

Why do guys always leave the toilet seat up?

Laziness? Lack of consideration? An inability to predict who will need to use it for what bodily function next?

Truthfully, I’ve never understood the fuss over this. How often do women put the seat up for men? Consideration works both ways!

Personally, I just always leave it down as I can hit the smaller target and thus avoid the issue altogether,  but really: Is the two seconds of extra effort really worth the fuss so many seem to make over this issue?

I’m going for the easy, short answer today as I’m spending the day with my little girls.

Why is it that the man in my life can never find anything? I always put everything in the refrigerator in the same location, but he will open the door, stare, and say “where’s the ketchup?” I’ve talked to my friends and they have the same issue. What gives? Is he blind or lazy ^_^

Blind? Maybe! I can’t count the number of times I’ve stood and stared into the refrigerator looking for the bottle of raspberry tea I knew I had stuck in there earlier, only to have it sitting right in front of me but apparently completely out of my field of vision at the same time. Even worse is when I’m looking for my keys everywhere and they are hanging on the hook by the door, which is where I want them to be. It’s why I put the hook there!

Lazy though? No way, and here’s my pretty much facetious answer (as I have no real explanation): we men are hunter-gatherers by nature. We need to be successful in the hunt to be satisfied and thus we turn a blind eye to anything that is too easy. This applies to everything from food in the refrigerator to putting toilet paper on the holder! I mean, really! Where’s the thrill of the hunt if the toilet paper is right there at the ready! No, caveman Grogg must hunt roll. Must seek it out from back of toilet, from under cabinet, from under the bed where the sabretooth cat took it (don’t ask…).

Don’t get Grogg started on mystery of magic clothes that appear on bent sticks in walk-in cave off of bedrock. Grogg must hunt through piles of unfolded loincloths to capture runaway socks for Grogg’s feet. Neatly folded linens in walk-in cave scare Grogg. [OK - enough of that joke. Even I'm bored now!]

I guess all I can do is offer an excuse, and in my case it’s going to be: my bi-focals have a blind spot!

So how many guys actually more often pee sitting down or prefer it? Two close males in my life admit to that. It makes me wonder.

Hmmm… I’ll have to make a poll for this one, methinks! I’ll confess that I occasionally do it, but it’s usually when i first wake up and I need to go both pee and poop. It’s just easier that way… unless you have morning wood… then I don’t recommend it AT ALL (some things are just not meant to be bent DOWN that way! owie!)

Needless to say, I don’t have much to comment on for this question. Maybe they just find it more comfortable? To me, the bigger question is one women usually seem to ask (but no one has of me yet): why do men always leave the toilet seat up?

My usual response to that question is that we do so because we’re lazy and that we can but frankly, I’d always wondered why toilets had to have seats that lift up and down anyway. I mean, are most guys aim so bad that they can’t hit a slightly smaller hole? It seems like it would be a lot easier to just have the porcelain shaped in such a way as to make a seat. It shouldn’t really be any harder to clean and it would save all of these arguments between men and women. Of course, do they really argue or do women just complain and me just slough it off… hmmm… for myself, I never bother to raise the seat until I’m cleaning the toilet.

I apparently HAVE good aim….

Sorry, there are no polls available at the moment.

The first question I received just had to be the one that conjured up some of the worst visuals I can imagine:

OK- so why do men seem to want to hold their man parts all the time? You don’t see me holding my boobs ever. Confused….

If ever there was a vision I didn’t need to recall, it is of my junior high school English teacher standing at the front of the classroom, seemingly unconciously adjusting himself… many times during the hour. I mean, really - was he suffering from jock itch? Was his underwear too tight? Did he have *shudder* critters down there? Could he just not find it and so was concerned it had fallen off? I don’t think I’ll ever want to know what it was all about, but thanks for bringing it back to mind!

I can’t think of a time that I felt the need to hold my man parts that didn’t involve a necessary bodily function or preparation for sex. I’m hoping I’ve never unconciously done so. About the only time my hand is tempted to go down there is when I think I’ve left my zipper open, but even then, I’m too worried about being seen so head for the restroom before checking!

About the only reason I can think of for men who do this so much is that they feel some unconscious need to protect it from harm. That, or they really are afraid that their little buddy is going to run off and scamper in the bushes without them so they’re looking to ensure they don’t miss out on the fun. All I know is, you have my permission to point it out to them and laugh. After all, that was the expected and acceptable reaction when Al Bundy did it, so why not try it in real life? Can’t hurt….